18 Sep 2014 21:54 | 299,914 notes | Reblog
  • me: watching tv show
  • me: looks down at phone for 0.002 seconds
  • me: misses entire plot line of episode, introduction of 2 new characters, 1 main character dies, they are in a different country, at some point someone reproduced and offspring are spoiled and someone got a pet cat
17 Sep 2014 12:56 | 0 notes | Reblog

It’s an exciting day on my college campus. iOS 8 comes out, but more important is the fact that Moe’s is open!

16 Sep 2014 15:24 | 20,150 notes | Reblog
fishingboatproceeds:

Cara Delevingne will play Margo Roth Spiegelman in the Paper Towns movie. 
Like everyone involved in the film, I was blown away by her audition. She really, really, really gets Margo.

fishingboatproceeds:

Cara Delevingne will play Margo Roth Spiegelman in the Paper Towns movie

Like everyone involved in the film, I was blown away by her audition. She really, really, really gets Margo.

14 Sep 2014 11:58 | 76,389 notes | Reblog
Two stars of the movie Heathers died at an early age: Jeremy Applegate (Peter Dawson, whose character prays he will never commit suicide) committed suicide with a shotgun on March 23, 2000, and Kim Walker (Heather Chandler, who had the line “Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast?”) died of a brain tumor on March 6, 2001.
13 Sep 2014 00:17 | 139,043 notes | Reblog

stability:

people who feel comfortable pooping anywhere other than their house are not to be trifled with

13 Sep 2014 00:15 | 175,369 notes | Reblog

couldvebeenaprincess:

look it’s fine if ur not religious omg it’s 100% ok but once u start telling people that their prayers are worthless, that God isn’t listening, that He is imaginary, that Jesus didn’t exist, that their religious texts are garbage, etc. then you’re a piece of shit shut up

09 Sep 2014 23:43 | 123,759 notes | Reblog
gnarly:

squided:

diamoncls:

yourwaifu:

thala55o:

mac and cheese

what?

mac and cheese

That’s an egg


Thats an ipad

gnarly:

squided:

diamoncls:

yourwaifu:

thala55o:

mac and cheese

what?

mac and cheese

That’s an egg

Thats an ipad

09 Sep 2014 23:42 | 186,154 notes | Reblog

aintnobodygottimeforthisfandom:

premiium:

rapewhistled:

still havent seen any greenday jokes….its september….wtf is going on

i guess everyone’s on holiday

image

08 Sep 2014 10:10 | 24,909 notes | Reblog
mimswriter:

Kurt Vonnegut: 16 Rules For Writing Fiction
1. Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.
2. Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.
3. Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.
4. Every sentence must do one of two things — reveal character or advance the action.
5. Start as close to the end as possible.
6. Be a sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them — in order that the reader may see what they are made of.
7. Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.
8. Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To heck with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.
9. Find a subject you care aboutand which you in your heart feel others should care about.
10. Do not ramble.
11. Keep it simple. Simplicity of language is not only reputable, but perhaps even sacred.
12. Have guts to cut. Your rule might be this: If a sentence, no matter how excellent, does not illuminate your subject in some new and useful way, scratch it out.
13. Sound like yourself. The writing style which is most natural for you is bound to echo the speech you heard when a child.
14. Say what you mean. You should avoid Picasso-style or jazz-style writing, if you have something worth saying and wish to be understood.
15. Pity the readers. Our stylistic options as writers are neither numerous nor glamorous, since our readers are bound to be such imperfect artists.
16. You choose. The most meaningful aspect of our styles, which is what we choose to write about, is utterly unlimited.

mimswriter:

Kurt Vonnegut: 16 Rules For Writing Fiction

1. Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.

2. Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.

3. Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.

4. Every sentence must do one of two things — reveal character or advance the action.

5. Start as close to the end as possible.

6. Be a sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them — in order that the reader may see what they are made of.

7. Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.

8. Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To heck with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.

9. Find a subject you care aboutand which you in your heart feel others should care about.

10. Do not ramble.

11. Keep it simple. Simplicity of language is not only reputable, but perhaps even sacred.

12. Have guts to cut. Your rule might be this: If a sentence, no matter how excellent, does not illuminate your subject in some new and useful way, scratch it out.

13. Sound like yourself. The writing style which is most natural for you is bound to echo the speech you heard when a child.

14. Say what you mean. You should avoid Picasso-style or jazz-style writing, if you have something worth saying and wish to be understood.

15. Pity the readers. Our stylistic options as writers are neither numerous nor glamorous, since our readers are bound to be such imperfect artists.

16. You choose. The most meaningful aspect of our styles, which is what we choose to write about, is utterly unlimited.

07 Sep 2014 22:43 | 217,272 notes | Reblog

kurgs:

skeletongrazed:

skeletongrazed:

what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?

one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean

#i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails
07 Sep 2014 22:37 | 366,189 notes | Reblog

thesassylorax:

necromorph-slayinglovemachine:

I’M TWENTY YEARS OLD AND I STILL LOSE MY SHIT AT THIS EVERY GODDAMN TIME

image

This episode turns 13 years old this year. That’s horrifying.

The best episode