Floating through the abysmal cosmos, Capt. Fred Stewart longed for the safety of his ship, the warmth of his home, Earth, and the embrace of his loving family, whom he would never see again. Communications with the homebase had been permanently severed and his oxygen was steadily charging toward zero percent. But with his last ounces of strength he propelled himself toward the floating bag of freeze-dried Denny’s, sucking the last of his air, tiring his atrophying muscles. For Captain Fred Stewart had made one promise to himself: if he was going to die, he would go out while eating something delicious.
And he did.
dont let tumblr make you believe that
-eating car hubcaps is cool
-being an inanimate object is acceptable
-post-avant jazzcore is better than progressive dreamfunk
-having a corporeal form is healthy
-chemtrails aren’t real
"It’s a metaphor, see. You put the bacon thing right between your teeth, but you don’t give it the…um…well, you eat it, actually, ‘cause it’s there and you’re nearly tasting it. So it’s not a metaphor. Um. I have no idea where I was going with that. Want some bacon?"
[sleep-over voice] are you awake
[sleep-over reply voice] yeah
[regrettable sleepover invitee voice] you guys SHH
[confused sleep-over voice] what is the meaning of life
[annoyed sleep-over voice] dude shut up
[sleep-over host voice] you guys be quiet my moms gonna hear us
[unknown voice] you kids wanna buy some drugs